I have just come back from a three day retreat with a business group I belong to, Executive Foundation. For me it was an opportunity to step back from my business and consider where my business goals are in (or out) or alignment with my values and life objectives.
What became clear during the three days was that we all know what is best for us. We don't need to be told. The very act of speaking about ourselves reveals some of the truth. But what was most useful as far as I was concerned was that we had to consider what questions we wanted the rest of the group to explore with us. I wanted to know, for instance, whether there were any gaps in my plans. Clearly, I wanted to ask this question because I suspected there were gaps. Had I had a different suspicion I would have asked a different question.
Of course, this only works in a group of trusted friends and colleagues. In a less safe forum one might not be willing to share ones fears honestly or even ask for feedback. What they receive as a result might be motivated by all sorts of underlying biases - politics, ambition, insecurity or the need to be liked.
I think in our group we have reached a level where we can speak and listen openly.
But finding a group (or even an individual) with whom it is safe to speak, whether that be a partner, a friend, a colleague, a mentor, a coach, a minister or anyone else, must be a fundamental for success.
Without anyone to share our deepest feelings with in a safe and secure way, not only would success be hard to achieve but any success we did achieve would be meaningless.
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