What's Wrong with Work?

Don't put it in writing

At a recent meeting I was facilitating we were exploring how to keep absent members updated on the discussions and decisions we had been part of during the day.

At first, there was general agreement that writing them up as notes and sending them to those who could not attend was the least offensive and most effective way to pass on this important information.

But I wonder how you would feel if a summary of the meeting arrived in written form? Would you read it? Would it be a high priority for you to go through it in detail? Would you feel included? Would you feel fully informed?

Probably not.

Email - and particularly the ability to attach documents to email - has made it easy for us to wimp out of having to speak to people in person. We use the excuse "I don't want to interrupt him/her so I will just send an email which they can read at their leisure". And that is fine for quick questions which need a simple response.

But to try to communicate subtle messages, encourage a sense of inclusion, or pass on difficult feedback, the written word is a poor alternative to a personal conversation.

Next time you have something to say, don't write it. Say it.   

Lessons from the nursery

My daughter is nearly three and, as of September, she moves up to The Big Room at her nursery. All Summer she's been making trips in to The Big Room for a few hours in order to acclimatize before returning to the familiarity of The Little Room with the babies and younger children.

I have noticed a remarkable change in her since she has started spending time with the older children. Her language has progressed even further and she is coming home with much more precise drawings and paintings than previously. The stretch has been good for her development.

But there is another change. She is happier.

My daughter has always been ambivalent about nursery. Although she's been going since she was a tiny tot she resists it every day and has to be lured in to the car in the morning with fruit bars. Once she is there she loves it though and doesn't want to go home. That's kids, eh?

But since moving to the new class she is much more excited to go each day. Today she nearly forgot about her fruit bars!

It turns out that being stretched is fun. It is innate in us to find growth and learning and being slightly outside our comfort zone more fulfilling and enjoyable.

So next time you get the opportunity, step up to the metaphorical Big Room. You'll like it!

Call the expert

My secret shame (one of them, at least) is my love of reality TV. Not the Dating in the Dark type but the Location, Location, Location type. Grand Designs, Restoration Man, Mary Queen of Shops...the ones that you can learn something from (that's my explanation and I am sticking to it).

What never ceases to frustrate me though is why people think they can do complex projects like starting a business or building a house without consulting the experts. Architects study for 7 years before beginning at the very bottom of the career ladder and are only let lose on an actual building single-handed many years in to their career. So why would someone with absolutely no experience believe they could build a house?

I am a big fan of experts. I have someone I speak to about dog training, someone who puts up my shelves, someone who does my book-keeping, someone who manages my PR. I have a great deal of respect for professionals who have the experience to quickly solve problems (and anticipate problems) which would take me three times as long because I have to invent the wheel first. Why should I start from scratch trying to resolve a problem when someone else has been there and done that before?

Of course, I am sometimes disappointed. I get frustrated when a builder hasn't anticipated problems and then charges me for the wasted time. I get annoyed when I am told by someone claiming to have years in their field "I've never seen a problem like that before". I am short-tempered when an "expert" leaves all the thinking and problem-solving to me and then charges through the nose for the tiny bit they contributed.

However, by and large I think there is huge benefit to calling the experts. Why don't we do it more?

Well, in some cases we probably enjoy figuring it out ourselves. There is a certain pride in saying "I did my own conveyancing" or "I put that flatpack bed together myself". Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we just don't anticipate how difficult a job is going to be until we try it ourselves. But sometimes we refuse to ask the experts to help us because we feel it reflects badly on us. There is an expectation today that you should be an all-rounder. You should have people skills and business skills and technical skills and creative skills...

In reality we are all rather one-sided. Admitting our weaknesses or holes in our knowledge or lack of experience in a certain area should not imply failure. It should not undermine what we do have to offer. It should be acceptable to say "This is where I am of more value. And this is where I bring in other people to help". It is only lack of confidence, actually, which stops us admitting when we need expert assistance.

In the workplace, it should be acceptable to admit to the gaps and seek other people to fill those gaps. Pretending they aren't there is a sure fire way to waste a lot of time and a lot of money.

Mental vs physical challenges

A colleague of mine is about to undertake a very difficult and dangerous physical challenge. I can't tell you much about it at the moment but as soon as he starts blogging about it I will let you in on it!

We all admire people who put themselves to the test physically, especially when they are attempting something we ourselves cannot imagine doing - for me that includes anything involving running, anything in the extreme cold or anything which involves doing without a nice cup of Starbucks coffee every day.

It is relatively easy for most of us to imagine what would be hard about a physical challenge. Let's say you were about to trek to the North Pole. You can imagine some of the things that would be tough about that -

• The cold
• The lack of home comforts
• The company of a small set of other people who are bound to annoy you at some time
• The relentlessness and potentially the boredom
• The exhaustion
• The difficulty of escaping should you want to give up
• Missing people back home
• The muscle pain and potential pain of injuries (and the lack of access to a doctor or pain meds or a nice warm bath)

Before you set off you would have to be pretty sure that you were prepared to take part despite all of these difficulties. In fact, you would have to believe that the end result - the sense of achievement - would be worth it.

But how much consideration do we give when we embark on a mental or emotional challenge? When we sign up for a self-development programme or try to bring about a change in our company or in our lives...how much do we think about the difficulties we will face?

I find that people under-estimate how hard these mental or emotional challenges are going to be. And then, when they face the inevitable difficulties, they are unprepared. Emotional or mental challenges are just as likely to be tough and include -

• Feelings of physical discomfort (stomach aches, headaches etc)
• Lack of familiar comforts (change inevitably means stepping outside the familiarity of the comfort zone)
• The company of a small set of other people who are bound to annoy you at some time
• The relentlessness and potentially the boredom (change isn't always interesting!)
• Missing people from your past life
• Wanting to give up or downgrade the success criteria (e.g. "Maybe just by getting this far we have proven enough")
• The pain of growth and change for which there is no medication

I don't lightly make this analogy. I believe this is one of the main reasons we so often give up when we set about making a change to our lives or to our company or to our relationships or to ourselves. We don't think of it as giving up because it isn't as obvious as turning on your heels half way to the North Pole. But it is giving up nonetheless.

At Taming Tigers we are going to ask all delegates to fully commit to the journey they are about to embark on as if it were a physical challenge rather than a mindset challenge.

I believe that, if we fully recognise what we are about to do and face up to the myriad ways we will find it hard before we start, we will be far better equipped to deal with those obstacles when they arise...certainly better equipped than if we entered in to the journey oblivious of the hurdles and pains ahead. Ignorance is not bliss.

The big 4-0

It is my birthday today.

I've been saying I am 40 all year just to get used to the sound of it but in fact, as of today, it is true.

40 has always been seen as a pivotal age erupting in all kinds of odd behaviour such as the purchase of a sports car, a make over or a whole life re-think.

For me it doesn't spell any of these. I am pretty much where I want to be at this point (although a little more financial security wouldn't hurt but who can really say they have enough money?). I suspect a lot of 40 year old angst comes from a sense of not being where you want to be. It is my guess and I am keen to know what others think.

But I have noticed myself thinking of the next 10 years of my life in a very different way than I thought of the last 10 years. When I was turning 30 I still felt that I had a very long stretch ahead. I had just become an executive coach and started my own business and life was getting pretty exciting. I felt I was just starting out.

Today I have a different feeling. It is almost as though I have 10 more years to see if I can get all my ideas to work. I have all kinds of ambitions personally and professionally and, by the time I am 50, I will know whether any of them held water.

It isn't that I think of 50 as the end of my life! I imagine doing some pretty interesting stuff in my 50s, 60s and beyond! But by 50 I will know how the plans I have today turned out. I will know what happened to the books I've written and to my plans to do more keynote speaking and to my dream to build my own home. I will know how my daughter's toddler tantrums turned in to teenage ones and whether I ever managed to get Humphrey the puppy to come back when I called him. I will know whether I managed to keep the weight I lost earlier this year off or whether I gave up the fight. I will know whether green really is a good colour for a living room and whether we ever got that hot tub.

So turning 40 isn't really about turning 40. It is about turning 50. It is about recognising that the clock is always running down and that time is indeed our only limited resource. It is about saying to myself - If not now, when?   

Puppy update

A few weeks ago I wrote about our new puppy, Humphrey.

Humph isn't my first dog. I grew up around dogs and got my own when I was 13. I got another dog in my 20s from a rescue centre who was fabulous but a bit of a tearaway. This time, especially as I now have a tiny toddler in the house, I was determined to train my dog properly and have been using the principles behind pack hierarchy and dog behaviour to assist me (in addition to lots of treats and praise when he does the right thing).

One problem I hadn't anticipated was that my daughter would be petrified. Never having been around dogs, she found it quite traumatic to come home one day to a large, boisterous, waggy monster...despite lots of preparation by us and lots of excited anticipation by her.

She would tell us how much she loved her puppy and then scream when he took a step towards her.

I explained that running away from the dog would only encourage him to chase her but she couldn't help herself. The flight or fight response kicked in and she would just run!

This went on until a couple of days ago when we went to the local woodland with both my daughter and the dog. As the day progressed she became more and more comfortable with him until, by the end of the day, she was doing this:

Apart from being a great relief, there are some lessons here -

1. Give it time. Many people are afraid of change. It takes time for people to get used to the new reality and realise it isn't that bad.

2. Create loyalty. My daughter became more possessive about her puppy when other children wanted to touch him. She started telling other children how to hold him and how to cuddle him which made her feel like the expert and therefore loyal to the dog.

3. Reward the behaviour you want. As my daughter became more confident I gave her more and more praise, telling her at the end of the day how helpful she had been and how proud I was of her.

4. The problem just evolves. Now we have a new problem. She is so confident with the dog that she is at some risk of getting hurt! He is a puppy with sharp little teeth and is much bigger than he thinks. So the learning continues as we explain to her how to tell when he is too tired, hungry or lively to be played with. Remember that as one problem is resolved a new, higher level problem takes its place. Don't think that you'll get to a place where all the problems are solved and you can have an easy life again.

   

Re-writing Rule Number 1

We carry around with us a hefty Rulebook which informs our decisions and our actions. This Rulebook tells us about the ways of the world as if they were truths.

Maybe your Rulebook tells you "You can't be rich AND happy" or "Bad things happen to good people" or "I'm just not lucky" or any number of rather negative "facts".

Our Rulebook also tells us about the world - "Business is not about people it's about money" and "The years of boom and bust are over" (ha ha!).

In any one day you are limiting yourself because you are accepting these, and others like them, as Rules rather than what they actually are - myths, conventional wisdom, fears, narrow-mindedness, assumption, belief.

I am not saying I have re-written all my Rules. Every day I have little conversations with myself when I realise that I am acting in accordance with a Rule not my true authenticity.

But I think there is one Rule about business and work which should be re-written as a matter of urgency. The Rule states -

"You can't reconcile what is right for people with what is right for business"

It is the Rule that leads us to make choices to prioritise our business over our people. We justify this by saying "Well, without a business our people don't have jobs so, in a way, by prioritising the business I am prioritising people".

Really? When you delay having that 1-2-1 with your line report? Or when you judge someone for coming in late because they had to take their son to the doctor? Or when you stop "walking the floor" for a few weeks because you are so busy with meetings and spreadsheets?

It's time we re-wrote this Rule and replaced it with one that says "You must reconcile the business and the people. Only by doing what is right for the people in your company can you do what is right for the business"

Engaged, motivated people get better results than their disengaged colleagues. When you are under pressure, that is exactly the time to put more effort - not less - in to your people.

Read Blaire's books

Sick of work?

A new study shows that Britain tops the league table for Sick Days in Europe. We take a massive 170 million days sick a year.

And, surprise surprise, for 50% of those days we aren't actually sick.

By the way, 24% of people say they feel engaged at work. I wonder how many sick days they take? Or are the majority of sick days taken by the 76% who aren't engaged at work?

If you are self-employed or own your company you are probably rarely sick. When you are sick you probably work unless you are really stricken down and can't move. Last year I took a half day off sick because I couldn't see straight having struggled through a cold for about three days and eventually giving in to it and going to bed for one afternoon.

How do we get employees to feel so valued, integral and responsible at work that they will give whatever they can to their job rather than crying off sick because they are sick of their work?

The myth of leadership

I was just searching Harvard Business Review online for a definition of leadership. Up came 6,453 articles.

6,453!

It's not surprising that some many leaders are at best confused and at worst overwhelmed by what it means to lead.

In just one issue there were 10, contradictory, articles about leadership including:

• 3 ways to network
• 4 ways to recover from a career disaster
• 5 misconceptions of new leaders
• 6 ways to be more courageous
• 7 questions every leader should ask themselves
• and 8 lessons from global executives that every leader should know

So, in one month, more than 33 new lessons about leadership.

I think it is actually much more simple than that. Leading is simply about being the best version of yourself. You know what your best self would do. You don't always do it. But you know what it is.

Now you can cancel your HBR subscription! I just saved you $165!   

 

Don't move, improve

We are creating a "make do and mend" culture as a reaction against the materialism of the boom years. And that trend is being seen in the workplace too.

Unconfident about whether they will be able to find a new job if they leave their current one, many people are staying put until the job market revives. Some of those become "walking dead" who want to be anywhere but at work and turn up only in body, not in spirit (often they don't even do that, crying "sickie" every few weeks).

But many are becoming part of what I call the "Job Uplift Movement". Knowing that they are going to be with their employer for the next few months or even years, they are setting about improving it from the inside.

This might involve taking on more responsibility without necessarily more pay. The idea here is to make work more interesting and take some of the dread out of Monday.

Some are fixing the frustrations of work (as explored in my new book "What's Wrong with Work?", out in October 2010) by re-structuring their meetings, creating a more compelling vision for their team or working cross-functionally to break down silos.

Some are finding ways to make savings worth their own salary or more. I call this "Redundancy Proofing". You save your company more than you cost them so that, in the next round of job losses, you have a strong case to say you are an asset not a cost!

And some are Upskilling - using their current position of security to get additional training and experience within their own company or outside. That way, when they do get on the job trail they will have more to offer.

All of this is good for their current business, meaning they become more valuable employees. It is good for their career prospects in future. And it is good for the spirit. Don't lie down and die. Find a way to turn an old job in to a new one.