What's Wrong with Work?

Puppy update...again

Some of you are very keen on an update about my dog, Humphrey, who is fast approaching his first birthday.

What has this got to do with work? I will reveal all as we go. 

You may remember that we were determined to approach training our puppy using "natural" methods - we communicate with the dog like a dog rather than a human, being clear about the status hierarchy in our pack and reinforcing that every day. The idea was that he would take a low status place in the family meaning he would not bark excessively, jump on the furniture, mess in the house, steal shoes, dig up the garden or pull on his lead. 

I can tell you that the strategy has been partially successful although we have also reverted to more conventional ways to train him such as treats. The garden looks like the site of a Roman excavation, the sofa is torn (hidden under delightful throws) and he sometimes steals shoes. In other respects he is fabulous. 

Maybe I am making excuses here, but I think what we've done right is that we have adapted to the dog we've got (and the family we are) rather than adhering to a set of principles which make perfect sense but don't actually work for us. We are vigilant about some things (not pulling on the lead, not jumping on people for instance), and we have found a variety of methods for dealing with the occasional bark and jumping on the sofa (mainly involving bursting out at him unexpectedly and shouting "no"!). We've mixed and matched to get the right solution for us.

Today (and here is the link) leaders need to be adaptive to the needs of their people. You may read about the latest leadership theory in Harvard Business Review or the secrets of success by a famous businessperson. But in the end, how you lead is about who you are and who the people are that work alongside you. 

What matters isn't whether you comply with current trends but whether what you are doing works in the short and long term. Mixing and matching until you find the right combination for you, your people and the situation you are in is likely to be far more achievable and productive than looking for "the right answer" when, chances are, no such thing exists.

Follow me on Twitter
Become my friend on Facebook
Connect on LinkedIn
www.tamingtigers.com

Forever young?

Anyone who was in any doubt that state of mind played a significant part in our experience of life should catch The Young Ones on the BBC iplayer.

For a week a group of elderly celebrities lived as if it were their hey day - 1975. They had to behave as they would have done then: doing up their own shoe laces, making their own tea, taking dogs for a walk, dancing, working, being social.

The results? They were more alert, confidence, fit and fulfilled by the end. 

This has implications, not only for our attitudes as we get older regarding ourselves and our increasing years, but demonstrates how (in the short space of a week), changing the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and about the world (our Rulebook) has a dramatic effect on every aspect of our lives.

If people in their 70s and 80s can re-write their Rulebook and get an immediate impact, surely we all can.

What stories do you tell yourself about yourself and your abilities? For one week, change the Rulebook and see what impact it has.  

Call the expert

My secret shame (one of them, at least) is my love of reality TV. Not the Dating in the Dark type but the Location, Location, Location type. Grand Designs, Restoration Man, Mary Queen of Shops...the ones that you can learn something from (that's my explanation and I am sticking to it).

What never ceases to frustrate me though is why people think they can do complex projects like starting a business or building a house without consulting the experts. Architects study for 7 years before beginning at the very bottom of the career ladder and are only let lose on an actual building single-handed many years in to their career. So why would someone with absolutely no experience believe they could build a house?

I am a big fan of experts. I have someone I speak to about dog training, someone who puts up my shelves, someone who does my book-keeping, someone who manages my PR. I have a great deal of respect for professionals who have the experience to quickly solve problems (and anticipate problems) which would take me three times as long because I have to invent the wheel first. Why should I start from scratch trying to resolve a problem when someone else has been there and done that before?

Of course, I am sometimes disappointed. I get frustrated when a builder hasn't anticipated problems and then charges me for the wasted time. I get annoyed when I am told by someone claiming to have years in their field "I've never seen a problem like that before". I am short-tempered when an "expert" leaves all the thinking and problem-solving to me and then charges through the nose for the tiny bit they contributed.

However, by and large I think there is huge benefit to calling the experts. Why don't we do it more?

Well, in some cases we probably enjoy figuring it out ourselves. There is a certain pride in saying "I did my own conveyancing" or "I put that flatpack bed together myself". Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we just don't anticipate how difficult a job is going to be until we try it ourselves. But sometimes we refuse to ask the experts to help us because we feel it reflects badly on us. There is an expectation today that you should be an all-rounder. You should have people skills and business skills and technical skills and creative skills...

In reality we are all rather one-sided. Admitting our weaknesses or holes in our knowledge or lack of experience in a certain area should not imply failure. It should not undermine what we do have to offer. It should be acceptable to say "This is where I am of more value. And this is where I bring in other people to help". It is only lack of confidence, actually, which stops us admitting when we need expert assistance.

In the workplace, it should be acceptable to admit to the gaps and seek other people to fill those gaps. Pretending they aren't there is a sure fire way to waste a lot of time and a lot of money.

Puppy update

A few weeks ago I wrote about our new puppy, Humphrey.

Humph isn't my first dog. I grew up around dogs and got my own when I was 13. I got another dog in my 20s from a rescue centre who was fabulous but a bit of a tearaway. This time, especially as I now have a tiny toddler in the house, I was determined to train my dog properly and have been using the principles behind pack hierarchy and dog behaviour to assist me (in addition to lots of treats and praise when he does the right thing).

One problem I hadn't anticipated was that my daughter would be petrified. Never having been around dogs, she found it quite traumatic to come home one day to a large, boisterous, waggy monster...despite lots of preparation by us and lots of excited anticipation by her.

She would tell us how much she loved her puppy and then scream when he took a step towards her.

I explained that running away from the dog would only encourage him to chase her but she couldn't help herself. The flight or fight response kicked in and she would just run!

This went on until a couple of days ago when we went to the local woodland with both my daughter and the dog. As the day progressed she became more and more comfortable with him until, by the end of the day, she was doing this:

Apart from being a great relief, there are some lessons here -

1. Give it time. Many people are afraid of change. It takes time for people to get used to the new reality and realise it isn't that bad.

2. Create loyalty. My daughter became more possessive about her puppy when other children wanted to touch him. She started telling other children how to hold him and how to cuddle him which made her feel like the expert and therefore loyal to the dog.

3. Reward the behaviour you want. As my daughter became more confident I gave her more and more praise, telling her at the end of the day how helpful she had been and how proud I was of her.

4. The problem just evolves. Now we have a new problem. She is so confident with the dog that she is at some risk of getting hurt! He is a puppy with sharp little teeth and is much bigger than he thinks. So the learning continues as we explain to her how to tell when he is too tired, hungry or lively to be played with. Remember that as one problem is resolved a new, higher level problem takes its place. Don't think that you'll get to a place where all the problems are solved and you can have an easy life again.

   

People Whispering

We've all heard of Horse Whispering and there are dozens of books out there on Dog Whispering. But have you ever heard of People Whispering?

The principle behind Horse and Dog Whispering (not terminology that most experts in those fields employ, by the way) is that you don't treat a horse or a dog like they are a person, You treat them like they are a horse or a dog.

Humans have the ability to adapt their behaviour to other species. It is much easier for us to learn what a horse needs and then communicate in the horse's language than it is for a horse to communicate in our language. A dog will always see the world through the eyes of a dog, never through the eyes of a human. We, however, can see the world through the eyes of a dog, if we take the time.

I have recently been re-reading much of the literature on Dog and Horse Whispering as we prepare to bring a new puppy in to our home. But the principles have huge resonance for me as an Executive Coach.

When you raise a puppy based on these principles you don't punish behaviour you don't want to see as such. If your dog runs off and doesn't come back for half an hour, you don't berate it. And you don;t spend the next week practising the recall in your garden hoping that it simply didn't understand the instruction and, if you practise enough, it will learn what "Come here Humphrey" means and come back to you next time.

Instead, you go back to the root of the problem. The dog absolutely knew you were calling him. He doesn't lack the knowledge or the skills. He just didn't respect you as his leader (are you starting to see the connection yet?)

Very often, when we have "People Problems" we try to treat the behaviour as it manifests itself - lateness, sick leave, poor productivity. We put in systems or bring in a trainer to enforce the behaviour we want or to give people the skills they seem to lack.

At the end of the day though, this doesn't work. People know what to do. They just don't respect you, or the organisation.

Therefore it isn't the employee who needs to be berated. Instead, as leaders (of the pack or of the team) we need to look at ourselves. What do we need to do to inspire trust and respect? Just as a dog is looking to you to be its Alpha in the pack, your people are looking to you to be their leader.  

What do you think? (There's a choc drop in it if you share your opinions!)