Leading a team is a bit like being a boy/girl scout. It can feel as though you are expected to adapt effortlessly and seamlessly to the different needs, moods and challenges your team present you with without demonstrating any kind of emotional response at all.
Cool, calm, collected and prepared for anything.
Of course, the reality is that you are human. Which means you are often taken by surprise or operating on a set of assumptions which are totally false or having an emotional reaction at a particularly inconvenient moment.
And, at the same, time, you are trying to cover all of that up because you can't let your team see your flaws.
Which only goes to perpetuate their belief that you are always prepared and therefore means you have to continue to hide the fact that you aren't always, which means that you are always operating with this slight sense that you could, at any moment, be found out...which adds a great deal of stress which no one, but yourself, has put on you.
Rule 4 for Taming Tigers - It's All in the Mind
You may have strong views about what kind of leader you want to be and what kind of leader your team needs to you be. But are those "rules" consciously chosen by you or are you operating by a set of beliefs and assumptions which you have never examined closely?
What if your team did realise you weren't always prepared?
What if they did see emotion from you?
What if they were aware of your fears, insecurities and foibles?
When we interviewed James Le Brocq of O2 for our website he shared that he tells new hires some quite personal details about himself. It's a way to build bonds from the start (check it out by logging in at www.tamingtigers.com).
This might not be the approach you decide to take but it is certainly worth examining what's going on in your mind and consciously choosing the rules you operate by. Otherwise you might find yourself getting tied up in knots about a modus operandi you haven't even realised you have.
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