What's Wrong with Work?

What? Why? How?

Coaches don't have many answers. But they do have a lot of questions. A bit like journalists. Only coaches use their powers for good whilst journalists...

Another thing that's interesting about the kinds of questions that coaches ask is that they almost always start with the words What or How. Very rarely Why. 

That's because Why questions sound aggressive or, at the very least, judgemental. Why are you wearing that jacket? Why did you say that? 

Questions beginning with What and How are more likely to get an interesting answer - interesting for the coach but, more importantly, interesting for the coachee. Which, surely, is the point. If the coach leaves the session knowing more than they did at the beginning but the coachee doesn't, surely the coach should be the one who is paying.

You will also notice, if you've been coached by a talented coach, that coaches rarely care about The Story. I mean the background we all give when we're explaining the issue we want to work on. They don't need to know how long you've been working in the business or see your CV or know how large your team is. In fact, the coach doesn't really need to know anything because the coach isn't going to come up with any answers. Just more questions.

It is you - the coachee - who is going to come up with the answers.

Whether you are a professional coach or a leader who wants to develop their coaching skill, it's worth knowing more about questions than about answers. 

"The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing" - Albert Einstein

 

On a need to know basis...

Giving feedback or just speaking honestly in front of someone who may receive what you say as a form of feedback is rarely comfortable. 

And many people don't take feedback well. 

So if you are concerned about telling people what you think you may have some justification.

But is that a good enough reason to avoid doing it?

In my life many people have been very direct with me. Sometimes I have ignored what they've said because of a sense inside me that it wasn't meant with a pure heart. People will sometimes give feedback as a way of punishing you or avoiding their own issues. Equally feedback is always subjective. It is impossible, in my view, to strip away all your preconceptions and assumptions. You always view the world through your own eyes no matter how much you try to see things from another person's perspective so feedback is never "reality". And, of course, I have sometimes ignored important messages because I wasn't ready to hear them. 

But there are times when the subjectivity of feedback is completely valid, for instance, when it comes to leadership. You aren't doing your best leadership if no one is following. There is no argument that "It doesn't make me a bad leader just because no one listens to me". 

The bottom line is that leadership is all in the eye of the beholder. And, given that, it makes sense to be open-minded about what people think of you. It doesn't mean you have to take what they say on board completely but it does mean a conversation can begin between you where misunderstandings, mistakes and opportunities to grow can be explored.

And that's why I am always determined to hear even the most difficult of messages. It is often the ones that are hardest the hear that make the most difference in the long run.

When you are considering whether to share your truth with someone, remember that although they may not like it, they may appreciate it. And if they don't you can console yourself with the fact that you did it with a pure heart...as far as you know. 

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GOAL!

Professional sportspeople have it simple. Not easy, but simple. 

There are any number of goals out there to aim for and any number of milestones along the way. 

If you have the talent and the will it's just a matter of focusing on the straight line ahead of you and off you go. 

I realise it isn't quite as obvious as I make it sound. And I certainly don't envy them. 

At school my PE teacher wrote in my report "Blaire keeps a positive attitude despite her obvious disabilities in this subject". Ah well. An international sporting career was never on the agenda really. 

But when it comes to business, I love to have a goal. It's just not as simple because, although there are competitions to win and awards to collect, that's not really the point of business. Most business people have to set their own goal and their own milestones. 

It's not easy to do, which is why we end up with so many goals which mean nothing and could be transferred to any business you care to mention and fit, kinda, with what that business wants to achieve. "Be the number one in our market" is the fall back position of most organisations and "Be the best team in our field" is the fall back for most teams. What's your team or organisational goal? Could it apply to any function like yours in any business or any organisation in any field, pretty much? Probably. 

We've been doing a lot of work with teams recently on just this - setting the Goal and defining the roadmap to get there. And there were no "Be Number One in Our Market" type goals. Instead we heard words like "Simple", "Brave", "Shape", "Brilliant", even the odd expletive to express what these teams really wanted to achieve, what would really get them out of bed on a bad day. I'm afraid I can't share them here as they are so exciting and ground-breaking that you would steal them. 

Anyway, they only mean so much because of the work that went in to creating them. The whole point is they can't be transferred to another team or another business and mean something. They had to come from the people in the room. 

There is nothing stopping you creating a team goal which really inspires your people, except perhaps the belief that it is possible. Well, I can tell you it is possible. Now, what's it going to be?

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